On the creepiness of teddy bears and my need to possess a narwhal snuggie and/or cape.

Let’s talk about teddy bears.

I’m sure they can be adorable, but for the most part, I find them terrifying.

Exhibit A1: THE SNUGGLE BEAR.

Snuggle bear. Scary.

Exhibit A2: SUPERNATURAL CONFIRMS IT.

Exhibit A3: GOOGLE CONFIRMS IT.

Exhibit B: THE PURITY BEAR.

No, that’s not a parody.

See, kids? Teddy bears can be terrifying.

Onto the second, and equally important topic of this Sunday post.

It’s come to my attention that I do not own a narwhal print snuggie. I own half a dozen narwhal plushies, and two narwhal figurines, and a narwhal carved of animal bone, and a stamp, etc. etc. but NO NARWHAL PRINT SNUGGIE.

Look at this fabric!

So I was thinking about how much I wanted a narwhal print snuggie.

Narwhal snuggie status: NEED.

Anyway, I was thinking about how badly I wanted a narwhal print snuggie, when my housemate, Jen, suggested something even better.

You guys.

I NEED A NARWHAL CAPE. HOODED. WITH A HORN.

10-sec sketch! Text reads NARWHAL NOT UNICORN.

If I had a narwhal cape (hooded, with horn) then I would be forced to wear that cape in public, and to places like Comic-Con.

We must make this happen, lovelies.

IN SUMMATION.

Down with creepy teddy bears, and up with narhwal themed attire!

In which an update post devolves into the most random of the random.

Hey guys!!

Sorry about that little blip of BLOG FAIL. Feeling better (well, actually, sick, on a psych/emo level, better).

-One of the reasons I’m having trouble blogging is that I’m in this odd time where I can’t really say much about what I’m working on.

-There are all these terribly exciting things having to do with the paperback of THE NEAR WITCH, but since it doesn’t come out until May, I’m supposed to keep my lips sealed until at least Feb/March. It’s kind of killing me.

-And since THE ARCHIVED is just about 1 year out (I don’t have a release date, but it’s January 2013), I’m not allowed to say ANYTHING about it yet. And that kills me, too. I got to see a draft of catalog copy for TA yesterday, and did this squee-bounce because it was the first email I’d gotten that didn’t revolve around edits, and that induced a moment of OMG ONE DAY THIS STORY WILL BE A BOOK THERE IS A GOD. And that makes me want to TALK about it, but alas. Not yet.

-The project I’ve referred to as VAGABOND PUPPIES should be making its way out to publishers next month, and that SCARES THE BEJEESUS OUT OF ME.

-I’ve been playing around with two new projects, but we’re keeping it casual right now 😛 I’m not in the mood to commit. They’re about as different as can be (one is morbid MG, the other adult), but I’m having fun.

-I read THE FAULT IN OUR STARS and cried in a Starbucks. For, like, TWO HOURS STRAIGHT.

-I learned that AMC theatres in NYC have $6 matinees if you go before noon, and I’ve never been so happy to keep odd work hours.

-The next month or two will have a HUGE impact on my future, and that’s probably a large part of why I look like this all the time right now: (O_O)’ If you see me, and I look like that, hugs and/or cookies help.

-Things I’ve been researching: Mortality rates, the Vatican vault, David Tennant, hand-to-hand combat, Epinephrine-based revival.

-Things I’ve been buying: rusted keys and silver rings.

-Things I’ve been thinking about: covers, blue skies, Haywire, the terrifying nature of hope and the consequent reluctance to feel it, and, as ever, narwhal picture books.

What about you, loveleies? What’s on YOUR minds? Talk to me.

Life is like a blue police box.

So as the end of the year draws near, I found myself thinking about life. More specifically, about journeys. Mum and I were talking about 2012, and that got us talking about 2011, and the journey it’s been. And I realized something: for some people–myself included–life is like a TARDIS.

Sometimes the Doctor thinks he wants to go somewhere/somewhen, but it’s not where he NEEDS to go. The TARDIS concerns itself far more with need than with want. It always gets the Doctor where he NEEDS to go, but–no offense, TARDIS–it’s never a very smooth journey. The Doctor might think he knows how to drive that big blue box, but it does have a remarkable habit of knocking against, bouncing off of, and crashing into things before it finally lands.

I set these destinations in life, I chart these courses, and no matter how I plan, no matter how badly I want to follow the path I’ve made, it never ever happens. That’s not to say I don’t get there eventually, but it always seems to take a strange, rocky, circuitous, or unanticipated course. And that’s okay, because that’s when the Doctor has his best adventures, not when he goes where he’s heading, but when the TARDIS detours him by a few millenia, or a few worlds. The TARDIS knows.

So in 2012, I’m going to try and trust a little more in the TARDIS. I’m writing up my goals, but if things start to veer in interesting ways, I’m not going to beat the control panel with a shoe. I’m going to lean with it. I’m going to go for the ride.

This odd tangent brought to you by edit brain.

PS. This.

Thanks be to andifelldowntherabbithole.tumblr.com for this brilliance.

A special holiday message, brought to you by singing authors, pets, guitars, and just the right amount of awkward.

A holiday message from the YA world!

And yes, I sang a line.

Even though I HATE singing (well, I don’t hate singing, I just hate singing where other people can hear…I waited until my housemate ran to the store to film my bit because I was too embarrassed).

The heinous state of edits means I probably won’t post again until after Christmas, so considered my awkwardness, and the awkwardness of many others, to be my gift to you.

Happy Holidays, from YA to You! (This idea, and execution, courtesy of the lovely Saundra Mitchell)

“Winter Wonderland” written by Felix Bernard and Richard B. Smith.

Featuring the vocal stylings of Tessa Gratton, Dawn Metcalf, Mike Mullin, Rhonda Stapleton, Jennifer Brown, Beth Revis, Victoria Schwab, Erica O’Rourke, Aprilynne Pike, R.J. Anderson, Maggie Stiefvater, Lara Zielin, Sara Bennett Wealer, Diana Peterfreund, Jon Skovron, Carrie Ryan, me, Julia Karr, Christine Johnson, Josh Berk, Sonia Gensler, Kimberly Derting, Jackson Pearce and Sarah Ockler.

Feel free to spread the video, and the holiday awkward!

Random Sh*t While Victoria is Editing – Day 7 – The beautiful, the troubling, and the cornified.

No video today, because I have a triple dose of internet fun!

1. THE BEAUTIFUL.

The site – http://librarianheygirl.tumblr.com/

2. THE TROUBLING.

The site – http://mylifeistwilight.com/

Examples…

“Today, I accidently bit my cheek, it started bleeding, and my throat burned. I felt like a new born. MLIT”

“Today, I made my mom sign a three page contract. On the first page it stated what I wanted. I wanted to go see Breaking Dawn the opening day. The second page said why I wanted it. The third page said what would happen to her if she broke this aggrement. Lets just say, i’m watching the movie. MLIT”

“Today, I was re-reading Twilight, and as I read I realized that in 7th grade I had the same schedule as Bella her first day at Forks High School. 1. English, 2. Social Studies, 3. Math, 4. Elective, 5. Science, 6. Gym. !!!! 🙂 MLIT”

“I’m sitting in class and the teacher begins to talk about washington i immediatly think of twilight. My friend beside me is tall, pale and thin with amber looking eyes! He brushed up against my skin freezing! I look up “i know what you are.” He proceeds to go “say it say it out loud!” Whoa i didnt expect that. MLIT”

3. THE CORNIFIED.

The site – http://www.cornify.com/

There are no examples. There are no words. Just go there.

*Both 2 and 3 were shown to me by Housemate Rachel, who clearly seeks to traumatize me with sparkles*

Videos While Victoria is Editing – Day 5 – On table-climbing and the impossibility of comparison.

Wednesday’s video. Because we all have our own obstacles to overcome.

In this case, one person’s table is another person’s mountain. And while the video is at once funny and endearing, the point is, we cannot the difficulty or scope of any other person’s obstacle. Something seemingly small to us could be the world to them.

This applies both to the positive and the negative, really. To a goal as much as an obstacle.

It is, at its heart, a reminder that while we sometimes walk beside each other, we are never on the same path.

Videos While Victoria is Editing – Day 4 – Thwarting Monday’s inherent level of suck with puppies.

Because it’s a Monday (and everyone knows that Mondays are inherently chock full of world suck), I bring you…a fluffy puppy.

And for the cat lovers out there…I bring you this.

Videos While Victoria is Editing – Day 3 – A rant on the movie Young Adult

EDITED TO ADD: a few ppl on twitter have misunderstood me and think i do not possess a sense of humor when it comes to my industry. I assure you, I do! But I feel there’s a way to tease–the Simpsons recently did a whole episode on YA and it was hilarious!!–but I think I’m taking issue with the fact her writer-status is NOT being played up. Instead there’s just this simple negative word association happening, and THAT is what’s eating at me.

EDITED AGAIN: According to someone who’s seen the film early, her career as a YA writer factors in very little, which I admit makes me feel better, though I still can’t agree with the marketing. I solemnly swear to go see the film though, so I can make an informed judgment. Trailers, while they give more info than book covers, are very similar in their limitations.

So sometimes I get worked up about something, and I’m confident the majority of people feel the same.

And sometimes I get worked up about something, and know that I’m in the minority.

And then sometimes I get worked up about something, and have no idea how anyone else feels.

Thank goodness for blogs.

Today’s video is NOT on of my favorites. In fact, it really bothers me. It’s a trailer for an upcoming moving called Young Adult.

Now, the REASON it bothers me is this.

The main character is a young adult author, but the title of the film and the trailer treatment focus only on her childish behavior. There’s no mention of her career in the trailer (I had to go back and check the blurb to make sure I hadn’t made up her profession) and consequently the double meaning of her job and her personality/mental state casts both in a negative light. By making YOUNG ADULT synonymous with immaturity and trope-ish mean-girl-graduates-and-can-buy-liquor behavior, it takes a genre/category of fiction (and the category I write in) and gives it a negative slant.

And that REALLY bothered me.

So now I just want to know, am I alone in this sentiment? How do you feel about it?

Videos While Victoria is Editing – Day 2! Also Nearwhals, and Firefly.

Today’s VWVIE is a personal favorite of mine.

And now, for a few asides:

1. The topic was broached on Twitter as to what I would call my followers, if I wanted to call them something. And then the most wonderful suggestion ever was tweeted…NEARWHALS. I would call my followers NEARWHALS. Now, there’s the slight issue of my book being neither set in Near, nor containing any more narwhals than NW (which contained approximately zero), but I don’t care. As my housemate Rachel so eloquently put it, “Sorry, but that sh*t’s just too good to let go.”

So, yeah. Next step: BUTTONS.

2. FIREFLY. Okay, so it frequently comes to light on Twitter how many holes there on in my television education, and last night, when housemates Rachel and Jen learned about the Firefly-shaped hole, they were AGHAST, and promptly produced a DVD. Three episodes in, and can I just say YES. YES. YES. Also, it’s totally research. Not that I’m working on a space Western, but the character development! The dialogue! Totally justifiable, I think.

Now I’m off to my new favorite coffee shop to FIX ALL THE WORDS. Like a m-f-ing adult. Or rather, like a writer on deadline, which generally bears almost NO resemblance to an adult whatsoever, but rather a wailing panda with a mission and a bottle of jack…see, that’s what happens when I blog before caffeine. I should come with warning labels.

Videos While Victoria is Editing – Day 1

For every day I’m in edits, I’m going to post a video. Not of ME, since I’m currently in PJs drinking tea out of a pot, and no one needs to see that, but of awesome/funny/amazing/awe-inspiring things. If I discover more brain space, or think of an important/cool topic, or want to make a random list of random, I’ll put that into the post along with the video, so as not to disrupt the streak.

Because I am not feeling terribly creative this morning–I don’t have enough mental disk space–I’m calling this little series VIDEOS WHILE VICTORIA IS EDITING. Or VWVIE.

THIS IS DAY 1:

Check back every morning at 10AM EST for a new video.

There might have narwhals.

Or drunk baking.

Or honey badgers.

You won’t know until I post..which assumes I know…which I don’t.