What am I supposed to do?

Lovelies.

I’ve had this problem. Lately, I haven’t been sure what to blog about. Now, I’ve posted a LOT, but the content of the post has been mostly mindless, albeit fun.

Still.

I have this book coming out––THE NEAR WITCH––but it’s still several weeks out and I alternate between “EEEEE” and “oh god, V, shut it.”
I have a second book––THE ARCHIVED––but we’re just about to enter edits, and I don’t want to say much.
I have a third book––I can’t tell you the title––but I REALLY can’t talk about that one.
And I have a fourth project––VAGABOND PUPPIES (not real title)––but I CHOOSE not to say anything about that one, both because it’s not YA and because I don’t want to in any way jeopardize the terrifying amount of love I have for its twisted little form.

So what do I talk about?

Do I talk about the fact that I have food OCDs, and the more stressed I get (read: the closer I get to release, the longer I wait for edits/schedule), the worse they get, until my family finds me in the kitchen rearranging the croutons and craisins and apple cubes on the salad so that no matter which tong-ful you take, you get exactly the same number of each?

Do I talk about how scared I am? How excited? How curious? How little idea I have of what I’m doing? How much time I spend wondering how it will be received? How it will sell? How many people will want more? How badly I want this?

Do I talk about how my heart flutters EVERY SINGLE TIME someone is reading or has finished my book?

Do I talk about how mad I go waiting? Be it for finished copies or reviews or edits or any of the other 123464 things I am waiting on?

Do I talk about how unbearable seven weeks seems, even though I’ve survived nearly 22 MONTHS?

Do I talk about how badly I want to make lists? Not “THE” lists, but yours, how I want to show up on those little lists people post about books they’re waiting for, or excited about, and how every single time NW DOES hit one of those little lists, I see it, and it’s like the color’s been turned up in the world just a little?

Do I talk about my fear that August 2nd will arrive and nobody will remember it’s my (book) birthday all 16 Candles style but without the hot jock? Or any of the other rational, irrational, or semi-rational fears I have?

Do I talk about how a handful of students in a high school somewhere made my week because they were overheard in a hall between classes talking about NW as a summer reading pick, and the listener told someone who told someone who told me?

Do I talk about how happy it makes me to give you guys things, be it books or bookmarks or other tokens just because you hang around and put up with my cookie talk––Klout, btw, still refuses to acknowledge my authority on narwals, but does recognize my cookie influence––and everything else I chatter on about to avoid talking about any of the above topics?

It’s not exactly that I don’t want to be deep, introspective, not that I wouldn’t love to wax poetic on this blog about the industry, the world, about character and setting and plot and what have you.

It’s just that every time I sit down to write something like that, I look around and someone’s done it, and done it well, and then I look at the above list and I don’t talk about any of THOSE things because they’re scary, or weak, or neurotic, and I feel like I should be over them, above them, by now, and I’m not.

So I end up talking about cookies.

I guess there’s no point to this post, other than to say that I THINK about a lot, and post very little of that, and I’m sorry, because I’ve always wanted to be open and honest, even when it’s not !!! and EEE and COOKIES. I will try harder.

Advertisements

21 thoughts on “What am I supposed to do?

  1. Julia Karr says:

    Victoria! Sending you a bazillion hugs & know that I’ll remember & I loved NW & I love you, too! And… I arrange food, too… O_o

  2. Annika says:

    Aww. No one will forget your book birthday. AND you’ll have the hot jock.

  3. Pam says:

    Only write about what you want. Don’t force it and if someone has done it you can still do it if you want to do it. You don’t HAVE to blog, but you should if you want.

    • veschwab says:

      I think I get frustrated because I LOVE blogging, and vlogging, and tweeting, and being a part of this community. But sometimes I stop and look at all the meaningful posts other authors and bloggers are making while I stand around cheering NARWHAL and throwing cookies and think, wow, lame V. Or worse, I think people will look at the way I am online and they won’t take me seriously. But I blog the way I do because I take MYSELF too seriously, and this is the place where I make myself let go and just digitally smile and goof off.

      • JP says:

        But that’s the way you are! Don’t change it for anything. You’re DEF not lame, and anyone who doesn’t take someone who gives away narwhals seriously is…not cool. ;D

  4. Raychelle Smith says:

    Hahaha! You always make me laugh so hard when reading your posts and tweets! =) Cookie talk, Narwhal talk, and well any other kind of talk can be fun when by the right person. I, for example, would totally ruin all future talk of cookies if I were to blog about it, but you on the other hand do it eloquently. I can’t wait to meet you because your posts are so insightful and fun, even if they do not really have meaning other than to be chatting with others and brightening their days. =)

    Raychelle
    SteeleReviews AT gmail DOT com

    • veschwab says:

      Aw, thank you soo much for saying this, Raychelle. I’m glad to know that I’m at least entertaining, even when I don’t have an…organized point.

      • You are welcome! =) Yes, you are! Lol. It must be a perk of being you. One day all of your Narwhal talk on twitter will land you recognition of said Narwhals on Klout. =) Also, don’t worry, many people will remember your book birthday. Even if we have to pay them in cookies and Narwhals! Always remember that we love reading your posts, no matter the content.

      • veschwab says:

        ONE DAY. One day Klout will acknowledge my influence.

        And thank you. Really. ❤

  5. This is what you do. You get a cookbook. The cookbook will be filled with cookie recipes. You then begin a cookie-baking marathon, and select one cookie recipe for each week. Then, you will be able to focus on eating the cookies and baking the cookies and working the cookies off after eating them, and begging family and friends to help you eat the cookies. That will give you a much-needed distraction.

  6. Daisy says:

    I love the cookie talk, keep it up 🙂 And while I enjoy serious posts on occasion, your posts are always entertaining and make me feel like we’re getting to know you more.
    And who doesn’t love cookies? And narwhals? And hot jocks? 😉 They’re what makes the world go round.

  7. In many ways it’s better to have too much to talk about rather than nothing and you seem to have plenty going on, so well done on that, and on the books

  8. Annnnnd….this is why we love you 😉

  9. JP says:

    I TOTALLY agree with the cookie recipe/week idea. You could vlog yourself baking them and/or eating them, and then post it here. *flounces* Cookies! Also: *speaks in hushed tone* Can you bring some bookmarks to DBF?

  10. Ariel says:

    I can not even imagine what it’s like to have a book coming out. My gosh, I get all stressed out waiting if my friends and family think my latest cookie creation is delicious — and they would totally lie, even if it weren’t.

    But! You MADE a book! That’s like making a PERSON, but your book won’t even ever slam the door and scream that they hate you. Amazeballs!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: