I’ve had this problem. Lately, I haven’t been sure what to blog about. Now, I’ve posted a LOT, but the content of the post has been mostly mindless, albeit fun.
I have this book coming out––THE NEAR WITCH––but it’s still several weeks out and I alternate between “EEEEE” and “oh god, V, shut it.”
I have a second book––THE ARCHIVED––but we’re just about to enter edits, and I don’t want to say much.
I have a third book––I can’t tell you the title––but I REALLY can’t talk about that one.
And I have a fourth project––VAGABOND PUPPIES (not real title)––but I CHOOSE not to say anything about that one, both because it’s not YA and because I don’t want to in any way jeopardize the terrifying amount of love I have for its twisted little form.
So what do I talk about?
Do I talk about the fact that I have food OCDs, and the more stressed I get (read: the closer I get to release, the longer I wait for edits/schedule), the worse they get, until my family finds me in the kitchen rearranging the croutons and craisins and apple cubes on the salad so that no matter which tong-ful you take, you get exactly the same number of each?
Do I talk about how scared I am? How excited? How curious? How little idea I have of what I’m doing? How much time I spend wondering how it will be received? How it will sell? How many people will want more? How badly I want this?
Do I talk about how my heart flutters EVERY SINGLE TIME someone is reading or has finished my book?
Do I talk about how mad I go waiting? Be it for finished copies or reviews or edits or any of the other 123464 things I am waiting on?
Do I talk about how unbearable seven weeks seems, even though I’ve survived nearly 22 MONTHS?
Do I talk about how badly I want to make lists? Not “THE” lists, but yours, how I want to show up on those little lists people post about books they’re waiting for, or excited about, and how every single time NW DOES hit one of those little lists, I see it, and it’s like the color’s been turned up in the world just a little?
Do I talk about my fear that August 2nd will arrive and nobody will remember it’s my (book) birthday all 16 Candles style but without the hot jock? Or any of the other rational, irrational, or semi-rational fears I have?
Do I talk about how a handful of students in a high school somewhere made my week because they were overheard in a hall between classes talking about NW as a summer reading pick, and the listener told someone who told someone who told me?
Do I talk about how happy it makes me to give you guys things, be it books or bookmarks or other tokens just because you hang around and put up with my cookie talk––Klout, btw, still refuses to acknowledge my authority on narwals, but does recognize my cookie influence––and everything else I chatter on about to avoid talking about any of the above topics?
It’s not exactly that I don’t want to be deep, introspective, not that I wouldn’t love to wax poetic on this blog about the industry, the world, about character and setting and plot and what have you.
It’s just that every time I sit down to write something like that, I look around and someone’s done it, and done it well, and then I look at the above list and I don’t talk about any of THOSE things because they’re scary, or weak, or neurotic, and I feel like I should be over them, above them, by now, and I’m not.
So I end up talking about cookies.
I guess there’s no point to this post, other than to say that I THINK about a lot, and post very little of that, and I’m sorry, because I’ve always wanted to be open and honest, even when it’s not !!! and EEE and COOKIES. I will try harder.