Commencing Panic in 3…2…1.

I am two things.

The first is a homebody. I really, really, really like my comfort zone, my security blanket, all those things.

The second is an explorer. I love to travel, go on adventures, find new places, new stories.

See the problem? The first thing impedes the second. The second causes these little red DANGER lights in the first.

So when I decided to move to the UK in February, I got an idea. I knew I needed to go to NYC for work (and some play), and I had just learned about the Branson retreat, and I had a plan. And oh man, I thought I was so clever. I decided to become nomadic, to throw my life into chaos, for the couple weeks before my UK trip, so that when I finally left, it wouldn’t feel like I’d been wrenched from my cozy routine and my comfy bed.

Upside: It’s been working. I haven’t spent much time lamenting my tea cup, my bookshelves, even the Y swimming pool. As for family and friends, I spend my energy skirting those emotions.

Downside: HOLY CRAP MY LIFE HAS BEEN THROWN INTO CHAOS AND IT’S SCARYYYYYY. Between the 6-month giveaway, the trip to Branson, the delay in Branson, work, and the trip to NYC in 1.8 days I AM OFFICIALLY FREAKING OUT. My room looks like a bomb of clothing, books, swag, and portable chocolate exploded.

I alternate between running through the house screaming and sitting on my bed just staring at everything that needs to get done like this: ”(O_O)” <–the short things are hair because it hasn't been brushed and I look like a swamp thing.





28 thoughts on “Commencing Panic in 3…2…1.

  1. Linda G. says:

    Exciting times! As long as you remember to breathe, all the rest will fall in place. šŸ™‚

    • veschwab says:

      *breathe in* *breathe out* *breathe in*

      I’m trying to find a way to float with the chaos, rather than fighting it. Clearly I haven’t worked out ALL the kinks yet.

  2. Indigo says:

    I can send virtual ((Hugs)) will that help? Linda’s right, take a deep breathe and enjoy what the day in front of you offers. (Hugs)Indigo

  3. Harley says:

    Oh no! I’d be curled up in a tiny ball in the corner if I were you, Victoria. If there are any other ways, we, the random people of the internet, can help, please let us know.

    Does it make you happier to know I will buy your book!?

    • veschwab says:

      Haha now that you mention it… :p

      I have spent more than my share of time in the corner these past few days. Family members have tried to coax me out with the promise of cake.

  4. Danielle says:


    Listen to this song on repeat as needed. OR listen to songs by Angus & Julia Stone. B/c her voice is chilling. (

    Breathe. Breathing is good.

    As far as the crazy surrounding you–as an experienced mover just pick one area and start there. You’ll have it done before you know it. AND don’t let those emotions hide away or you’ll have a breakdown in the wrong/time and place.

    And if you need help with the NW stuff, you just call me. I can help you send out anything you need. Even though….hmmm….could be hard since I live far away. But it’s the thought and IS a valid offer forever.


    • veschwab says:

      I adore you. And you’re so right about the suppression being bad. Had a little snap yesterday. Trying not to panic today…

  5. Mrs. DeRaps says:

    Cookies are good in times of stress. I like to eat them slowly…With milk. Lots of time to think as the sugary goodness sets in.

  6. Ann Marie says:

    And your destination is Tea and Cookie Mecca, so all of this is in service of the forces of good.

    This is soooo resonating with me. I have spent some energy these last couple years tamping down chaos . . . and now I’m bored. It’s a tricky thing, measuring out what you can handle and what you need to, putting the chaos towards something and not just shaking stuff up. Hugs in the meantime and may the travel go well!!

    • veschwab says:

      It IS the tea and cookie mecca!!

      And you’re so right. I oscillate between entropy and order. When it’s all chaos I crave quiet, but too much quiet and off I go into the chaos again. It’s hard to find balance.

  7. Michelle says:

    I’m a homebody too but your adventure sounds exciting! It’ll be okay! Have fun! šŸ™‚

  8. John says:

    Hope you get it all done šŸ™‚ and don’t worry, we’ve got plenty of tea and cookies in the UK! Although the cookies are the eat-one-packet-at-a-time kind but the tea helps that way. Oh, don’t forget to brush your hair haha!

    John (Scotland)

  9. Aun-Juli says:

    You can do it! You can do it! GO GO GO!

    I knew I was getting up early to bake cookies for a reason…

  10. Elen says:

    Love your interpretation of your hair and expression. I may have to steal that at some point. Honey, you don’t need a cookie. You need sugar IV therapy! Is this a permanent move?

    Plug in your fave tuneage and tackle one corner at a time.

    Here’s one of mine:

  11. Jen Chandler says:

    I can see where things are a bit stressful for you at the moment. I’m the exact same way: I love having things “just so” but I also LOVE a grand adventure!. You’ll have such an AWESOME time in England!!! Besides, they have tea time. How could you NOT love living in a country with TEA TIME šŸ˜‰

    Hope the stress diminishes soon,

  12. Orhedea says:

    Oh, you poor thing. That happens to me every 2,5 weeks. My mother just loves adventures and getting me stuck with them. Look on the upside: you are going to freaking LONDON!!! Home of vintage shops, cute Brits and literary buffs! Not to mention the ungodly amount of unexplored hundred year old alleys, and haunted mansions, and Scottish food…It’ll be awesome! You could be sent to somewhere much worse, like…a place where it’s -25 degrees outside and no Starbucks. I would love to send you cookies, but i am stuck in a place where it is -25 degrees and no Starbucks. It’s also on the other side of the world, so the cookies would get stale by the time they reached you(

    • veschwab says:

      Haha actually, I’m in LIVERPOOL, but it has plenty adventures of its own :)) And I can’t wait to explore and, you know, write books.

      I’m so sorry you are without Starbucks and warmth! :*(

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