Thank you all for the wonderful weigh-in on first versus third person conversation HERE. There is so much insight in that comment section!
After much deliberation, hair-pulling, and mutterings at the many open word docs, THE NEAR WITCH is going to be in first person present tense.
It was a difficult choice, but in the end it was the fact that I didn’t need to stray beyond Lexi, my MC, to tell the story. Normally what holds me back is a crucial scene or detail or story element that I know doesn’t happen in my MC’s vicinity, but I went through my outline, and I’m confident that I can tell this whole story from behind Lexi’s eyes! It will also be nice to get inside someone’s head for a bit.
Still working on the pitch *grumble stupid pitch* but here’s a few short quotes:
"Take her," my mother says, floating into the doorway. She doesn’t beg, or scorn. She just gives me the look. The look that says my husband is dead and my brother-in-law is enough work and I have food to prepare and unless you want to be a burden on your poor mother you’ll be a good daughter and take your sister with you. All in a look. In some ways, my mother is a powerful woman."
"It’s your turn," I yawn.
Cole takes a long deep breath and looks up at the sliver of moon. I can see in his eyes that he doesn’t want to do this, and for a moment I think he won’t, think he’ll curl in on himself again, and be that silent slip of a boy who walked into Near without a word. But then, he says something.
“Once, long ago, there was a place. In this place, there was a man and a woman, and a boy, and a village full of people. And then the village burned down. And then there was nothing.”
I hold my breath, waiting for him to go on. But Cole turns away, makes his way to a nearby rock and I know that there’s no more.
“You’re not very good at telling stories,” I call, following.
“I’ll work on it,” he says and leans back against the rock and closes his eyes. He looks just like that sliver of moon, pale and quiet and cast against the stones, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s really there.